I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
