I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
