so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
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