Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
