what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
