so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize
