I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
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