Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
you are never too drunk for berry picking
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Randomize
