to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
