I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I understand Curling. That high.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Randomize
