But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
