Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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