I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
