dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
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