Already got asked if we're dating
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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