bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
