these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Randomize
