white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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