We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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