I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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