Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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