wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
