I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
