The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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