At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
We are two peas in an std pod
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
