you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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