So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
you will always have a special place in my vag
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
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