Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
How many fucks given?
0.12846
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Damn victory sex feels great
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
