do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
