dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
handjob tips. give me some.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Randomize
