Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
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