Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
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