I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..