Texts From Last Night

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  (517): View more from Michigan

  I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.

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  (517): I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie. http://tfl.nu/vu4d
  Replies (7) Good night (1426) Bad night (576)
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.

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  (479): She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction. http://tfl.nu/io12
  Replies (2) Good night (862) Bad night (826)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.

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  (410): You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone. http://tfl.nu/z0lf
  Replies (25) Good night (672) Bad night (1591)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break

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  (301): she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break http://tfl.nu/l0jq
  Replies (19) Good night (5415) Bad night (1320)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.

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  (859): It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl. http://tfl.nu/qaad
  Replies (19) Good night (4367) Bad night (1342)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too

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  (603): im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too http://tfl.nu/8x1l
  Replies (27) Good night (7013) Bad night (1494)
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  (561): View more from Florida

  Bad news is he broke up with me via text message

  (561): View more from Florida

  But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville

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  (561): Bad news is he broke up with me via text message (561): But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville http://tfl.nu/1qx8
  Replies (28) Good night (7119) Bad night (1469)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  i think he saw me take a picture of his dick

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  (508): i think he saw me take a picture of his dick http://tfl.nu/2fdf
  Replies (6) Good night (2541) Bad night (823)
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  (585): View more from New York

  aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"

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  (585): aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow" http://tfl.nu/ebai
  Replies (4) Good night (1658) Bad night (631)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.

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  (603): I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall. http://tfl.nu/67xg
  Replies (8) Good night (638) Bad night (1413)
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  (337): View more from Louisiana

  I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun

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  (337): I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun http://tfl.nu/exga
  Replies (0) Good night (1196) Bad night (661)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".

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  (443): I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over". http://tfl.nu/6ral
  Replies (0) Good night (587) Bad night (794)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.

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  (614): im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year. http://tfl.nu/ildj
  Replies (1) Good night (531) Bad night (590)
• Favorite

  (804): View more from Virginia

  The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.

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  (804): The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me. http://tfl.nu/s0vs
  Replies (1) Good night (571) Bad night (268)
• Favorite

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.

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  (920): I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope. http://tfl.nu/g0eb
  Replies (3) Good night (300) Bad night (515)

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