Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
19 Unhappily Married People Confess The Red Flags They Ignored
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
These 23 People Destroyed Their Entire Lives In An Instant
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.