We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
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