Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
