why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
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