He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
