I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
