her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
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somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
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She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants