D3 body, D1 cock
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
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