I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
