to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Randomize
