How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
