How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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