operation harelip BJ is a go
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
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