You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
