I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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