i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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