i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
