Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Randomize
