Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
