distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
My dick has a subreddit
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Randomize
