I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
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