i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
