his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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