well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
