bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Randomize
