Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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