Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Randomize
